Pain. Rock Climbing, and The Need For Others

From The Day We Are Born...

Pain.
From the day we are born, we are in pain.
What does it mean?
Why?
So much of it and such a NEED to shut it off.

I've spent most of my fully cognitive life (9-25) trying to control pain away.

Purpose of Pain

Too easy a question.
Growth, of course.
But I'm tired of empty Words of Wisdom.
They offer comfort, not satisfaction.
Chicken Soup For The Soul : those books aren't about curing the disease, they mask the symptoms...

Sorry.
This sounds very bitter.
I'm just ... young and confused.

[introspective smile] Bitter

Y'know [small smile] it's funny.
I don't know what a bitter plant tastes like.
I've never been an adventurer.
I've never gone out into the forest and tried to find a bitter plant for anything.
In stories, a bitter plant means healing usually.
I wonder if that's true...

Rock Climbing

5.6 to 5.12.
That's how difficulty of a climb is rated.
I can climb a 5.9 usually with concerted effort.

There is a 5.10 climb that I have struggled with for 2 weeks now.

The Twin-Boobs Climb

Seriously.
That's the climbs name.
Why?
The first two handholds are shaped like a pair of breasts.
It's a bit shocking when you first see it, but then climbing is a sport where you spend a lot of time staring at human bodies while you are ensuring they don't fall off the wall (a lot of fun when it's a cute member of the opposite sex. )

I've been trying to climb it for two weeks.
It is hard.
The handholds are smooth and round without a lot of grip to them and require a great deal of forearm strength.
I couldn't get past the 1/4 mark because of a large round hold which required a two handed grip.

The Need For Others

My body.
I've got to make it look good.
I can't feel worthy of pretty girls without a good body.

The Adaptation Response

To make muscles grow, they have to be pushed.
In weight training this means going to the limit and pushing past it.
Hard?
Very.
How'd I do it?
With help.
My 6th and last set I would usually ask for somebody's help to count my reps.
My muscles would shake, my teeth would clench, I would groan, but the person's steady voice, the encouragement, would push me on.
I had to push.
I had to.
Someone was watching me.
Someone was waiting for me to finish.
Someone was supporting me.

I would push myself two, three times harder than I could alone.
It would always be remarkable.

The Need For Others

Yesterday I climbed.
I did a few tough climbs which made me feel good.
I talked to a cute girl which made me feel good.

I debated, and
debated, and
debated over whether or not to ask for some help.

Finally I did.

I asked a nice fellow if he would belay for me (belay is handling the ropes and ensuring I don't fall).
I warned him though that I wanted a special favor.
I needed help to finish the climb.
I needed encouragement.

Encouragement. Vocal Encouragement.
We Need To Feel Love

The fellow was a little reluctant to be expressive in his encouragment.
Understandably so of course.
But, I was politely insistant.

I climbed.
He helped.
I got to the two-handed, smooth, round hold.
He directed me.

It was hard.

My forearms ached.

I asked two other fellows on the ground for their help too.
Encouraging words.
Supporting words.
"YOU CAN DO IT!"
"YOU'VE GOT IT!"
"NICE ONE!"
"GOOD JOB!"
"IT'S YOURS!"

... i wonder if i deserve their help.
why does a person deserve help?
what does a person need to do to merit : h-e-l-p.
...

I fell off at least five times.

I tried and I fell in the same spot.

I reached the last stage.
I needed to hold with my right hand and make a long reach with my left hand.
My legs strained to keep me upright.
I tried and missed.
I rested.
I tried and missed.
I rested.

The fellows were getting impatient.
Of course they were.
I was taking 5 times longer than normal.

5 Times Longer Than Normal

that's it.
one more shot and i quit.
i'm imposing.
i'm bothering.
i'm a burden.

"Hey guys, I'm going to try one more time. Please do your best to encourage me."

I did it.

The guys did encourage me.

My muscles didn't hurt for a few moments and it was enough.

I came down and gave the fellows my hand in thanks.

Not Enough

Why didn't I hug them?
It wasn't that big a deal.
It was tough, but not that tough, not tough enough to warrant getting emotional.

Life : The Accordion

Progress.
Breathing.
I realize I need others.
Try to get close and pull away.
Try to grab a hold and fall.

Peripheral Vision

[wink] Of course, I had the girls in my peripheral vision the whole time.
Knowing that they might be watching gave me a boost too.
Thinking that they might be watching gave me a boost too.

Conclusion

Life lessons.
Shallow water.
Drop a pebble in a pond.